there's like this constant upwelling of weird feelings surging through me...fear and panic all at once...i know i've gotta push these aside and not let it affect my studying progress,but i can't help but wonder wad if everything goes wrong and i end up dissappointing everyone and myself yet AGAIN...this thought keeps running through my mind every time i can't solve a maths sum or can't grasp a geographic or economic concept...i know i'm definitely more confident of wad i'm studying now as compared to the shit i knew last yr,but everyone in this yr's batch probably knows jus as much and are working even harder den me...blaming anyone else but myself now would be ridiculous...sometimes i really detest my laziness and incapabilities...so disgusting!!!

all these unnecessary worrying is jus taking too much of my time...its hard to concentrate with these thoughts occupying my already close to full employment brain...i need to like eradicate it asap and carry on with my studying but i jus can't stop it...it gets worse as the day draws nearer...is this like the pre-exam jitters?...if it is den i am experiencing probably the most extreme end of it...i hate this feeling!!! I NEED OUT!!!!!!!!!