the feeling resurfaced...kind of like a new-found familiarity...

i don't know whether i made the right choices...they all seemed so obvious at that point in time...but now i'm having second thoughts...what if...just what if...

sidenote: i'm still "stuck" damn it!!!!

kinda lost it since that day i guess...the reminder was funny...but it did shed the light yet again...crap...

its more peripheral than panoramic, and far from scenic!!!
immersion into this field of choice?
its so hard to counter "murphy"
senseless gravity was the final order

Power packed with an aching back!!!

i think i chose the lesser of the 2 EVILS!!! (or so i hope to think)

been kinda long since i last penned down my thoughts...

well...had a wonderful time with the girls in BKK...shopped kinda insanely, but i worked for it and really needed a break...am really grateful to them for bringing me around and easing my mind off the heavy shitloads...NEH NEH & SHELLZ!!! THANK YOU!!!! Headed to the LADY GAGA concert with them and MS TEO and MS TANG...it was more like an outdoor clubbing session...hahahaha...LADY GAGA seriously seems like she's on drugs...My dear darlings!!! Thanks TRUCKLOADS for always being there!!! although we don't meet often, but its really nice and comforting to know they we always care and will definitely be there for each other!!!

FOC was fun...A clan always has the most seniors...this time round we were seriously full time SAs...i realized what great friends my fellow clan members are...although i didn't express it, but i felt really touched when they were concerned for me when i was feeling down that night...i was freaking controlling myself from tearing...i'm super grateful for such nice friends...and they are seriously funny as well...the talk that night really made me laugh like mad!!! i haven't laughed so hard in such a long time...its kinda saddening that they won't be around much anymore...

school's started and i'm in consensus with everyone out there and am definitely feeling the inertia to get into the studying mode...been spending quite alot of late nights out...i seem to have changed...and so have they...somehow this sem feels very different... 

Sat night was fun!!! celebrated Ms Tang's b'dae in advance!

we were like tourists on the train for the day...hahaha

We acted like starving ppl and we have no clue why the ppl kept sending stuff to our table... had fun taking quite a no. of photos in the club! (too lazy to post) and guess who we saw!!! Mr Alvin Tan Wei Hao!!! hahahaha...our own mini prcs gathering...hahahaha

ms tang couldn't finish her super creamy choc cake

and talk of the "ni bu yao ma wo mama ok?!" incident resulted in a fatal casualty...ms tang's pearls...they were last seen here...don't worry ms tang!!! you'll get better pearls soon!!! hahahaha

i totally love the 3 Ts!!! Ms Tay! Ms Tang! Ms Teo! 19! 20! 21! hahahaha...22 loves you!!! hahahaha

Caught transformers on sun night...i swear we always encounter something whenever we watch a movie...either its a weird movie or the place is closed or lousy timing or only like one seat available or something...hahaha...

Dinner with Karin and Tracy last night was fun!!! Fisherman's Wharf!!! so much for Karin's weight-loss diet meal...hahahahawe can talk and laugh like mad!!! and Sophia is seriously random la..."open anot?" hahahaha...but if he's like Rick then i think none of us would mind...hahahaha...if he's like Jerry, i'm leaving the country too!!! hahahaha...

Nette did up an itinerary for our bkk trip!!! i think its super cute!!! hahaha...but the 2 siao char bors are scaring me with xiao maos and the other idolizes tinky winky!!! hahahahaha...~tinky winky, dipsy, la la, po.....~~~~ hahahahaha

changes are definitely gg to happen...i seriously hope its not too drastic...as stupid as it sounds, i don't think i can let go....

the week night meet-ups nv fail to perk me up after a long day at work...

The VIPs are still the same and we're so bitchy...tsk tsk tsk...hahahaha...work isn't gonna be quite the same anymore...i'll totally miss karin's antics and us bitching about our dear boss...hahahaha...

My new found friend and long-lost(and found) friend are such a joy to hang out with...thanks to the mad woman no.1, we get to go to many nice far out places with the loveliest ambience for ultimate Chillax dinnerz yoz! hahahaha...and ending the evening with simple desserts and long conversations...last night instead of k-ing, people watching was our late night activity...hahaha...mad woman no.2 is so KPO la...wanting to rush out to watch the bickering couple...hahaha...i can't wait for our trip...you girls must bring me around to the ultimate best bargain places k?! PEACE OUT DAUGHTERS! hahahaha

tonight's gonna be great with the 3 Ts!!!

those words totally hit me...its kinda hurtful but yet its the truth...

Filling up the emptiness with great company!!!

i really enjoy these random get togethers...not having some major elaborate activity being specially planned weeks or days in advance, just setting out time to spend time with each other...card-playing, suppering, k-ing, super late dinners, sipping coffee, exploring new grounds, movie marathoning, watching mtvs, and whatever weird things we've done...in the midst chatting about whatever comes to mind, serious conversations to nonsensical topics or antics that ecstacy can never compete with...

it just feels so comfortable and relaxing just chilling out with these wonderful people...people whom i've known for like many years to people i've known for only like a gazillion hours...people whom i can be myself with without having to worry about being on my best behaviour for we know and love each other for who we are...

my dear friends...i am really grateful that your parents gave birth to you so that we can be friends!!! Thank you UNCLES and AUNTIES!!!! hahahahahahaha

can't believe we're heading to bangkok!!! and it was so spontaneous!!! "wanna go bangkok?" "actually i don't mind..." "let's go!" and in less than 24 hours everything was booked!!! hahahaha so we're heading there end of july!!! can't wait!!!

can't imagine that the 3 of us would be heading overseas together...i think my new found friend is insane...gg on a holiday with 2 strangers after hanging out for just 1 night...hahahaha...but what can i do....we're just too irresistable to say no to...hahahaha...

spoke to both of them the past few days and really hope everything works out for the best for each of them whichever way things go...its really saddening...but i guess somethings just pan out in their own adverse ways...and i felt damn freaking guilty making XTT wait for so damn long and at that point in time he was seriously pissed... and in the process we didn't go and search for the additional gift we were supposed to get dency...i think it was really horrible of me and i think i really needa think more for others...

what indian said seriously makes a whole lot of sense...i really kinda asked for it...hahaha...its my fault, i have noone else to blame but myself...but i realised its kinda temporal or periodical now and has been this way since quite a long while back...which is great!!!! once fun and laughter comes into the picture, fun and laughter is all that exists!!! HAHAHAHAHA

and i got a single room next to indian!!! mel is along the same stretch too!!! just waiting for lee ting ting to check out hers and dency might be along the same stretch as us too!!! though it won't be the same without ms lee shu ling around......

it was great talking to michelle lee xin yu ( i know i tend to mention ppl's full name, don't ask me why...)...although we seldom catch up, but i'm really glad we had that major talk...i really didn't know we had so much in common...although such things aren't really good to have in common...hahaha...

i really enjoy such relationships...being able to talk non-stop abt anything and everything and being so comfortable...and knowing that such friends will also be around despite the lapse in the time spent due to differing schedules...

more catching up tml...this time with mr justin tan kuan yan/yuan too! the pang seh kia! hahaha...

its at times like this that i'm mounting with hatred and sadness from within and exploding wouldn't be sufficient to release all tt's pent up...i'm just so bloody irritated!!! having controlled this on my own for like the longest time, i have no clue whether i'll go insane few years down the road...even if i did, nothing might change anyway...

first day and work has commenced itself in full swing...kinda scary yet at the same time its kinda fun...hope my enthusiasm lasts till the end...its my first day and i've got my first case to work on...FUYOH!!! spoke to a few clients today...the legal industry is such a negative one...all the clients have, in some form, a degree of angst...tsk tsk...

now instead of reporting at 11, i have to be in by 930!!! which means i need to set out by latest 8.15!!! i haven't been anywhere remotely near that kinda routine for the past 2 years!!!

i can't believe i did it...hope i have the courage to see it through...

can't wait to start work on monday...i'm feeling so crappy just lazing around at home...am kind of afraid of work though...i'm afraid that i might not be up to it...i mean, afterall i'm not trained in law...i think it'll be work all the way till school reopens once monday starts...that means i'm left with fri and sun to "nua", since sat will be spent bringing the SCAS kids to the zoo...

i think i should bake or do something tml...hmmmmz...muffins or cookies or tarts?

Had a super long overdue dinner with the soci girls after exams ended...

Hey girls...sorry but i seriously have no clue why i can't upload the pictures on facebook...i'll just post them here for your viewing pleasure k?...hahahaha...

Max Brenner is seriously a gift from god...hahahaha

• Visited sentosa with Yue Hooooooooooooo, Shyan Jun, Alan and Clarence on sunday. Had a really fun and relaxing time...Ultimate frisbee should so totally be a sport included in IHG man...along with floorball...hahaha...Through this outing i also have found a new totally effective stress relieving activity!!! Floating...hahaha...i just held on to the vball and rested my head on it and just floated in the water...relaxing ULTIMATUM!!! After that we just got into a photo-taking frenzy...the amt of photos is probably killing shyan jun...hahaha

• Went for the law firm internship interview on monday...got the job...but the pay's 6.50 an hr, tried asking for more but they said would only consider increasing it based on my performance for the next 2 weeks...i have made the decision to try it out...although there are other alternative jobs that can earn me more muuula, but i guess i'll be to learn more at the law firm.

• Had the interview for the hall rec list thingy on monday night...i guess it went alright...i think i should be able to stay, taking into consideration the amt of things i have done in hall for the past 2 years...i'm really glad that the juniors are so committed to maxar...its heartening...well i wonder what the new sem will be like...without the ridiculously crazy lee shu ling around in the room it'll really be very different...

its a good thing i've upped my level of independence...from now on its definitely gonna be put to the test...but so far, i think i'm doing rather well...hahahaha...

oh my...this is insane...i'm actually super sleepy but i just can't slp...the tears just keep flowing uncontrollably...ah!!! ridiculous!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously had a great time laughing yesterday. Yalun's forfeit was the best! Trust xuanjie to come up with such a wonderful dare...hahaha...I hadn't laughed so hard in such a long time...It was seriously hilarious!!! He ran down a stretch in SMU(where there were students studying) and shouted "I LOVE NTU! I LOVE NTU! I LOVE NTU!!!" hahahahahaha...The video can be found on facebook...hahahaha

And the VERMONSTER was like WOAH!!!!! after waraku-ing (just look at how huge Ben's bowl was!!!), we devoured 88bucks worth of BJs!!!!! I can't believe that we actually did that...hahahaha...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YALUN!!!

its fun spending time with them...they're like my brothers away from home...

so the "independence day talk" was seriously enriching...a drastic change from like 3 years ago...we have grown up...hahaha...we may seem to be a certain way to others, they can deem us in whatever way they want but that may not be a true reflection of ourselves and there isn't a need to make extra efforts to explain who we really are...some think we're like super smart while others think we're dimwits...life doesn't revolve around their conceptions...we are our own individuals...we do things in our own ways, possibly contrary to your beliefs but that's just the way it is...and there's no traumatic experience propelling such changes...its just that we're enlightened...your turn will come soon...

The King of Fun Facts seriously makes my day!!! he is seriously out of this world...without him i seriously wouldn't have a clue which plot of land my grades would be under! hahaha

although i'm like so not prepared for the upcoming big ones, i'm still hoping that april comes and goes ASAP!!! i really need to start doing and settling alot of things...

its kinda insane, but i feel that i need a new life! its not that i'm not appreciative of whatever i have now, its just.....i dunno why...but i'm feeling a need for change!!! huge amounts of change!!! gotta start heading off in the right direction, for one, i feel really guilty that i've been slacking in terms of svc to god...can't blame the circumstances, its not god's fault that such circumstances arise, its just up to me to overcome them...he never forsakes yet i've sidelined him in my priorities...tsk tsk tsk...

i seriously hope to take the upcoming hols to realign myself...and hope everything will follow suit and fall into place...hope the family situation improves...3 mths is a long time...miracles can happen...i'm still alive!!!!!!!!

as a start i wanna change my blogskin!!! but can't find no nice ones!!!

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh....so many many many many many many many many things going on!!!! more shocking news today!!! seriously right...how can someone be so bloody fake and yet no one can tell?! and what's worse is that she can manipulate everyone so well!!! YUCKS!!!!! and i freaking allowed myself to be played by her...i don't understand how such people can exist and manipulate so successfully to the point that they still appear angelic...manipulate others for your own gain! don't you feel no sense of guilt at all?! to think i actually bothered to think of you as somewhat more than an accquaintance...you were just making use of me to get to him!!! how disgusting is that?!

and dude...seriously...stop it! gain some awareness! u need a crash course on learning how to become sensitive...previously i would have given you that wake up call, but seriously i don't think i can now...

tucked away from view, stacked under a tower of diversions, yet somehow managing to make guest appearances which are welcome with ultimate apprehension...the view is getting smaller, but the scenery refuses to budge...

• witnessing a few different versions...one which totally is in ruins and seems to be beyond repair...then there's this one which is rather complicated and many parties are grappling to tide through...yet there's this other version which is just so sweet and simple, totally reminds us of how and what it should be like...its basically all the same thing but circumstances and people change everything to such a huge extent that its kinda saddening to witness...all enter it with assumingly the same goal but end up in totally difeerent predicaments...just hope everything pans out nicely for all involved...

• for myself...this week and the next is gonna be hell...assignments, projects and presentations to clear! and quizes to pump up the workload!!! home is kind of like a retreat in certain aspects but at times it can be even more stressful than hall...unfortunately for the sake of my studies, i needa journey to the west...don't even have the time for a proper long catch-up session with the easties this week...major bummer...can't wait for exams to come and go and for the hols to engulf me with boredom!!! hahahaha...

• BOREDOM I"M AWAITING YOUR ARRIVAL!!!!! COME LOOK FOR ME SOON!!!! EXAMS WILL BE DONE IN ABOUT 2 MTHS!!!! TAKE NOTE K?!

Its a whole new february...

misinterpretations are horrifying! what one actually implies may be totally different from what the other person deems of it...this is where problems set in...my actions have seemingly volunteered themselves to the manipulation of misinterpretism...at the same time, my words seem to have fallen victim to essentialism as well...all cause i bothered to care...

Darwin's evolution based on natural selection is possibly playing itself out in this time and age...this deserves a serious WOW!!!

Am so worried i can't get into any overseas exchange programme for next next sem...i so don't wanna miss out on this chance while i'm like in uni...although last sem was an improvement, it ain't good enough! so totally need levelling-up!!!

kinda worried for maxar's sponsorship as well...hope a kind co. will come by and lend us a hand...till then i guess its just more e-mailing and convincing to be done...

dance! can't seem to get it! can't like execute some movements the right way...gotta try to get the "feel" and work it out man...can't let grace down...jiayou!!!

the above are things that i would like to keep in my prayers, but the thing is that i don't think i'm doing enough to deserve God's listening ear man..."sorry God, i'll make up for it, you know i will"

anyways caught up with the sec sch bunch last weekend...we can so totally have fun doing the most ridiculous and random things...no planning of elaborate events or fear of not having a great time...everything just flows sequencially...9 years of friendship!!! next year will be our 10th anniversary ppl!!! hahahaha...We must catch ZhiHui at the right timing before she like flies back to the U.S.

NEW YEAR NEW YEAR NEW YEAR!!! 2009!!!

been having alot of fun ever since exams ended! IHG trainings and matches!!! though i totally screwed up my back, but its worth it! how i wish IH is like a monthly thing...hahaha...Avni will so totally kill me if it is though...am glad that i managed to get to know more people better through IH...totally love the spirit and the enthusiasm we all share...

the festive period has been fun...enjoy spending time with dojo peeps...nearly forgot how much fun we used to have laughing and playing afool, especially with shellz and justin...we used to spend so much time together, but as we grew up and as our lives took off in separate directions we kinda drifted apart, but somehow we know that we'll never be totally distant, and that we're always around...its reassuring to know that this group of frens will always be there =) like what justin said "we're all gonna be friends till each of us lies on our deathbed"...hahaha..

the 2 events on nye's was such a contrast! the club was kinda crowded and noisy while ECP was totally chillax to the max...but managed to talk to shellz for quite a bit in the club while sobering up...we've got a whole lot of catching up to do...its just so easy to just talk abt anything even though we've been missing out on quite abit in each other's life so far...and hope all goes well for us in 2009 including mr tan...
Hallmates are such a fun bunch that are great to chill out with...we can like just lie on the mats and talk abt "god knows what" and time flies just like that...its so great to be around such people where you can feel so totally comfortable and at ease...and yet go mad with too...hahaha

well the sem's gonna start soon...and i'm kinda greatful for that...cos it means there's stuff to focus my mind on!!! GPA 4.5!!! this year's gonna be a good one!!! i can sense it!!! i'm gonna make sure everything goes smoothly!!! and as in OCS lingo "CHECK CLEAR!!!!" hahahahahahaha...