i am actually really quite fearful of how things might pan out..
yet at the same time, hopes of the ideal still plague me..
its at times like this that i wish i could really be a pure instrumentalist..no ambition, no ideal, no risk-taking, limited creativity..just going through the motion of things to satisfy what is required..why can't i just settle?! are my thoughts really that far off that no one is willing to think or talk about?

MOE encourages creativity, thinking out of the box, probing into unknown areas to find out and learn more..i attempt to take a step in that direction and get shot down just because others are not willing to open up..Singapore keeps talking about promoting creativity and encouraging its youth to push boundaries, question what others seldom even bother fathom..but is Singapore's society really ready for such rude awakenings? With institutions apparently trying to push for progress but society limiting its actualization, how can one not feel "sardined"?!

this stand..is it really what i should be taking? its hard suppressing agency..why can't i be more of a conformist?! why can't i be more passive?! why must i think and question?! what good has it done for me?!

"Wa Lau Eh, You think so much for what?! Nobody care one what, like that means like that la, question for what?"

its just so sad that human intellect is limited by such means..