needa release...the past few days have been filled with an array of mixed feelings...but overall i think i did well...was able to control how i felt to an amazingly high level that even i shocked myself...though i was like totally crumbling inside, i managed to seem totally cool on the surface...i staged an emmy award performance all on my own...i am seriously happy that your happy...just that a tinge of sadness surrounds my supposed joy...sadness that will hopefully vanish in the near future, just as it is slowly doing so now...